All my adult life I’ve suffered from depression, anxiety, lethargy and brain fog—and most recently with PTSD (post-traumatic syndrome disorder) and hypothyroidism.
Thankfully, a low dosage of an antidepressant generally kept my depression at bay although it did little to nothing for my other symptoms. I just tried to live with them the best I could.
But things changed significantly in 2017. I went into the year feeling very blessed and excited, but also a little stressed because for the first year ever I was under contract to write two novels: Disturbed (November 2017) and Malice (September 2018).
I was also preparing for the release of The Stranger Inside (May 2017), a thriller I wrote in 2016.
Prior to 2017 I was only writing one novel a year. I’m a fairly slow writer and have young twins to care for, so writing two books in 12 months is a lot for me. I love challenges and knew this would be a major one, but I also knew that I was going to have to stay laser-focused and very careful about managing my time in order to pull it off.
The first few months of 2017 went pretty well. I was insanely busy, but with my husband’s help, I was able to juggle everything pretty well. As summer approached, though, things began to fall apart.
Suddenly my anxiety skyrocketed. My ability to concentrate was also non-existent and I was crying at the drop of a dime. I could no longer sleep at night, and I also lost all tolerance for loud or repetitive noises (which I recently learned is called misophonia).
Although certain sounds, especially repetitive ones, have bothered me my entire adult life to various degrees, they were now causing major, sometimes even excruciating, emotional pain. I also started having trouble with my short-term memory. Sometimes it would take me several seconds to even remember it was the year 2017. I seriously felt as though my brain had broken.
Writing was taking me much longer than usual and at the end of most days I found myself deleting much of what I’d written. To my horror, I also found that I couldn’t be in the same room as my energetic sons for long periods of time. I also couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the house and being around other people.
I kept telling myself to power through it all because I didn’t feel I had the time to go and see a doctor—and quite honestly I didn’t think that seeing a doctor would help much. In the past all they’ve wanted to do was throw more prescriptions at me or increase dosages—and I’ve had bad experiences with both. But when I got to the point that I couldn’t even finish sentences (verbally OR on paper) because by the time I’d gotten to the end of them I’d already forgotten what I’d been attempting to say, I decided I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to see someone.
I had a ton of blood work done and after an initial misdiagnosis, I was diagnosed with the autoimmune condition, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis (something I will be writing about). My doctor made some recommendations but said healing would take some time. That I would just have to be patient. She also validated my suspicions that my antidepressant could be contributing to a lot of my symptoms (another subject I’ll be blogging about).
In the meantime, my husband was in the process of starting an online herb business. He gave me different herbs to try for my most pressing issue at the time, which was anxiety. Some of the herbs helped, but I didn’t get significant relief until he had me try Kratom.
I vividly remember trying it, not expecting much, but then 10 minutes later feeling as though a thick fog had lifted. I realized I was thinking much more clearly and my mood was suddenly sunny for the first time in months. The neck pain I’d been having was also suddenly gone. I hurried to the house where my husband was cooking dinner and was like “OMG. What did you just give me?”
I’ve been in complete AWE ever since.
Since that day in June 2017, I’ve taken different strains and blends on an almost-daily basis and Kratom has never failed to give me significant relief. Relief that usually lasts 5-7 hours, sometimes longer. My current favorites are this for mood boost and anxiety relief and this for mood boost, anxiety relief and energy.
On top of regaining mental clarity and relief from anxiety, I’m also leaving the house more often . . . something that has proven difficult for me not only in the last year, but various times over the years.
I’ve also managed to cut my antidepressant (Effexor) dosage in half—and I’m currently weaning with the hopes of being off it completely within the next few months because I suspect it’s been doing more harm than good. Effexor is notorious though (think brain zaps and vertigo) for its withdrawal symptoms so I’ll be taking it slowly.
Of course, Kratom isn’t right for everyone. Also, it’s not going to heal the imbalances that are the source of my symptoms. It’s only a Band-Aid. But it’s an extremely welcomed one because it gives me the clear head, peace, focus, motivation and mental energy that I need to work, be the mom I want to be, and get through the steps I need to take (mostly health- and lifestyle-based) that will eventually lead to healing.
Also, Kratom—like many other plants, doesn’t come without controversy. Although it’s helping hundreds of thousands and has demonstrated that in its unadulterated form it’s much safer than most prescription drugs or even over-the-counter products like Tylenol, it’s a significant threat to the prescription drug market and Kratom lovers like me are fighting to keep it legal. As with anything new, I encourage you to do your own research on it. Also, ask others about their experiences with it.
Here are more testimonials from people who have received relief from depression and anxiety, as well as fibromyalgia, Lyme Disease, PTSD and opiate withdrawal. Here are even more testimonials.
As with any herb it’s important that you don’t abuse it. Some people take it recreationally to get a high. I don’t do this and this isn’t what this post is about. This is about getting relief from anxiety, depression, etc. Also, for the record: I do not recommend Kratom mixed with anything else.
It’s also important that you buy from a trusted vendor to ensure you’re getting the unadulterated plant-based herb. PM me if you want information on vendors or specific strains or blends. My husband is my vendor of choice, but I am also happy to recommend others.
Update: I just wrote another post: 8 Amazing Benefits of Kratom.
Please look for more Kratom posts in the coming weeks. If you’re not already subscribed to my email list, you can do so here!
Disclaimer: The content above is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It’s simply my opinion based on my personal experience and research. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.